Green

I couldn't have come to a place more different than London.  Everything I see around me is the green and brown of nature..instead of the gray of cement and black of smoke and pavement and lights and lights and lights.  When I looked outside my window last night, everything was black; sky melted into earth until lightening burst forth every few minutes.  Everything smells different...fresh air, mingled with the smell of the old wood of the house, mixed with dog, and cow pastures, and mold from the ever-hanging mist.  No more cars and greasy Chinese food and cigarette smoke.  Church is different - loud, emotional, overflowing; not quiet, meditative.  The food is different..rice, beans, soup, tortillas, eggs, strawberries...in place of dark chocolate and crepes and sandwiches.



And I feel different.  Relaxed and open, but hesitating.  Being immersed in a new culture can be challenging...can I be myself, but still be respectful?  Am I expected to clap and dance in church, or can I sit and pray quietly?  Can I rest my brain after 3 days of constant Spanish, or should I keep exerting myself?

I miss home..or just that feeling of being familiar with what's around me, and of knowing what to expect.

I feel like I'm still landing.  But I remind myself of how I felt on the plane, when, in the midst of nervousness, a thought suddenly came to me: "I just want to be able to help."  I hope that whatever it is I am meant to do and learn here will reveal itself to me soon...so I don't feel so much like I am floating.